Two Ways to Play

“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”
“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.”
“I don’t much care where –”
“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go.”
— Lewis Carroll (Alice in Wonderland)

I like things to be completely unstructured. If there is a structure, I tend to fight it and that is no way to engage in an activity like this. However, I know also that some actually do like structure. They like it a lot. In fact, it clarifies the rules of engagement somehow. So for this latter group, I am going to attach just a little bit of structure around this game…as an option. There is absolutely no requirement to play this way. But the structured play might give you some ideas anyway.

Every week, I will post some theme of risk taking.

On Sunday night, every week, I will post some kind of risk-taking theme for that week. Then, every morning, starting on Monday morning, I will post suggestions and ideas for pursuing a rejection based on that theme. We begin tomorrow, so I will post this week’s theme right now…and activities relating to it starting tomorrow morning.

Theme for Week One: Rejection from Someone You Know

This week, we will be focusing on your immediately available network or community. The level of play is up to you, as always. But remember the goal is to really take chances. The goal is not to make others uncomfortable…but to give them the space to give you a firm rejection. You may let people in on the idea of the game AFTER you have received your rejection if you like. And it must be a solid and honest attempt, meaning, you must accept the gift/service/date that you have asked for if you do not get a rejection. Do not ask someone to go to lunch with you and then say “Nevermind.” if they accept. Ask only for things you are willing to accept.

This week is going to be a bit tricky. You will have to think carefully because many people in our “network” are very willing to do all kinds of crazy things for us. In order to receive a rejection, you will have to think about who the right person is to ask.

Suggested activities for this theme will come out every morning this week. Remember, you should not be asking people who will give you a rejection just because they know you are playing.

As a reminder, don’t forget that the suggestions this week are OPTIONAL. You do not have to do it this way in order to get points or to win.

Have fun with this.



Four Ways to Win at Being Rejected

“Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear. Perhaps the action you take will be successful; perhaps different action or adjustments will have to follow. But any action is better than no action at all.” Norman Vincent Peale

There are so many intrinsic rewards for taking chances…for just putting yourself out there. You will naturally see things in your life shift as you become bolder and see how resilient you are.

But I promised prizes too, and there will be prizes.

First, the categories…I wanted this contest to be a little more substantial than just a straightforward points-based game. I hate the way contests are set up generally. Either they are so random that it seems ridiculous, or they are set up so that the person with the most time will naturally win it. But what if you just play one day, but you manage to task a chance on something that scares the daylights out of you…shouldn’t that count? So, here are the categories:

The Postman Award…Cause you deliver. This is the one purely point-based prize. The one with the most points wins. You get one point for every day you intentionally seek, and receive, a rejection. Plus, there will opportunities to earn extra points along the way. Simple.

People’s Choice Award. This will be voted on by your Rejection Therapy peers. I am not establishing the criteria for this one…so you’d best bring your game and make it show. Obviously, you have to post on the Rejection Therapy Facebook group page to win this one.

Epic Fail (at getting rejected). This award is based solely on my own judgment. I am looking for the most incredible story of you seeking a rejection and gaining an opportunity instead. What that means is that you take a wild chance at asking for something that you can’t possibly imagine receiving…and then you get it. Equals a fail at the game…but a MAJOR WIN in your life.

The Wince-Worthy Award. This one will go to the rejection that is the most cringe-worthy. This is again, based solely on my judgment, though I will be factoring in comments as they are shared. You are free to send me these stories via email though, if they are just too brutal to share publicly. You should get something for putting it out there so boldly.

Now the prizes:

The Postman. For you…who play full out for the victory of a significant point spread…you receive a party to celebrate your focus and determination. You will receive an awesome party box from Saint Cupcake, delivered straight to your door, to celebrate in style. Includes:

  • 12 Cupcakes with all the trimmings
  • Some funky poms 
  • A sprinkle scope

Check out this link and watch those points.

People’s Choice. If the people choose you…you get to make a choice of your own. Choose a gift from the selection below:

  • Customized Mystery Gift for you.
  • Etsy gift card for $50. Supporting other people who are making a go of it and risking rejection.
  • Subscription to online resources…will have to work with you to determine which and for how long, dependant on cost and access. 

Epic Fail (at getting rejected). If you find yourself the winner of this category, you get an award that will move you toward that opportunity that opened up for you. You will receive a gift certificate to an online course called Mondo Beyondo, where you will dive deep into long forgotten dreams and plans and bring them up to the surface again. Here is the link for more information on that one.

The Wince-Worthy. If you make me wince…if you put it out there enough to get this award, you get your choice of gift to yourself to heal your wounded ego and get you back into the game. You will get a $100 gift certificate to an online retailer of your choice.

These are not insubstantial prizes…but you are really going to have to play.

Mice Type: I am not giving just straight cash. So don’t even ask. This is a gift…a surprising and unexpected gift to you. Practice receiving.

The spoils will go only to the bold, my friends.

Be bold.


P.S. Sign up now, before we start tomorrow! Email me or leave a comment.

The Rejection Therapy, 2011 Rules of Engagement

OK, so here are more of the details for the play of the game…

  1. We will officially start playing on 01/24/2011. (That’s Monday)
  2. The game will run for four weeks. Twenty eight days to rack up some rejection points.
  3. You get a point for every day you successfully receive a rejection. But it has to be one you sought out…not an incidental one.
  4. Every day I will post some ideas for rejection seeking. You don’t have to use any of these ideas…they are just thought provokers and idea generators.
  5. In order to get credit for a rejection…you must share! Send me the ugly details. If you don’t want to share publicly…no big. But you have to send them to me. Post them on the wall of the Facebook group…email them to me. Message them to me on Facebook. Whatever works for you.
  6. No fakey “oh, I asked my sister for a dollar and she said no” kinda stuff. It only counts if you are stepping outside your comfort zone…even a little bit.
  7. It is kinda an honor system…so don’t mess with it. Play right. Karma sucks. Karma with an Irish Pirate…don’t ask.

Every day, I will attempt to pick some rejectoid for the “Rejector Seat.” This will be totally at my discretion. I will be looking for the boldest rejection attempt and rewarding it with one extra point for that day.

I will be keeping track of point totals on a spreadsheet. Those who know me know that I must be very very serious about this if I am willing to use a spreadsheet. And I am.

Here are some things that can make this experience a little more fun (yes, fun. I really believe putting yourself out there is fun once you get into it).

  • Request to be added to the formal Facebook Rejection Therapy page. Share the triumphant rejection of thousands. (you can find the link at the top of this page)
  • Buy a wall calendar, Jerry Seinfeld style, and stick it up to track your progress…check out the story on this here. He practiced his own form of Rejection Therapy, and you can see the results.
  • Play full out and play to win. Throw yourself into this.
  • There are prizes…there will be four awarded, and they will not be pathetic. You want ‘em. Trust me. More on that as details progress.

A note about rejection:
What constitutes a bold rejection will mean something different for different people. You will know what a bold step is for you and you will not be judged for what you consider to be a bold step. The goal is to step outside of YOUR comfort zone and take a chance. And that is different for everyone.


Come play with us.

He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life.

Ralph Waldo Emerson




"And the Trouble is…

…if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.” Erica Jong


This is a tough one. We got so many messages growing up about being safe…cemented for years by stories of people who risk everything and lose. People around us “tsk tsk” and shaking their head when people do something “foolhardy.” Every risky thing I have ever wanted to do in my life was inevitably met with a chorus of “how do you expect to support yourself?” “There are already people doing that…what is different about you?” “Do you have the right experience for that?” and my personal favorite “Maybe you should just do that as a hobby.”

The result of this kind of culture is “calculated” risk taking. Making sure the odds are weighted heavily in our favor before taking the chance. We figure the rejection or failure is a little too scary. Best to think everything through.

We are at an interesting moment in the history of the world. Things have never moved as quickly…or accelerated as wildly, as they are doing right now. The resources we have access to are unprecedented (financial, information, people, etc.), and yet we do not feel empowered to take the steps we want to take to change our lives or the lives of others. We have unprecedented access to the widest range of community than any generation before us, but we are nervous about reaching out to them…and suspicious when others we don’t know reach out to us.

Rejection and risk need to be put in the place they belong…helpers to the process…something necessary to get to the other side.

So, how about a game then? With prizes even!

Monday starts my version of The Rejection Therapy Game! You can read more about the premise on this website. It is a rather simple game. Every day you do something that takes you outside of your comfort zone, and risk rejection in the process. I am inviting all my friends to enter this experience with me.

Over the weekend, I will tell you more about the game…AND the prizes. In the meantime, message me to add you to my closed Facebook group for the challenge.

In the meantime, think about it. Comment if this sounds like something your soul needs. You have nothing to lose but your fear.

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear. “

Nelson Mandela