I am a sucker for a story. Even if a movie is terrible, it takes an act of congress to get me to walk out of it…I have to know the end of the story. This is why I am addicted to blogs. I long for people’s stories. I check my regulars every day and am always looking for new ones. Some make me laugh. Some make me think. Others make me feel. The ones that make me feel are my favorites. Today it is Issa who has me thinking.
Issa does not exactly write as much as she opens her heart and pours her feelings into her blog. Reading her blog feels almost too personal…like I am reading her diary. Her pain is right there…right up front. So is her love, longing, joy…whatever she is feeling. She is not a clever writer…I have never read a witty turn of phrase from her. Yet she has many many followers, because she is completely there. People identify with her because she is real.
It occurs to me today that I write to entertain, not connect, and I hate this. It is not that I think there is anything wrong with entertaining, but it is not what connects us…human being to human being. And it is not who I am. I am wildly emotional. I work hard every day to restrain as much of my crazy emotional life as I possibly can. Virtually our whole lives are spent packaging ourselves for how we want to be seen. And all of us for a secret longing to really know who everyone is. To really KNOW them. I believe this guarding of our own truth is responsible for our lack of real connection. It’s not that we are alone, there are people all around us, it’s that we are not authentic enough to connect to.
My challenge to myself now is, can I put down years of messaging to “hold my tongue?” Can I just make a decision to stick my neck out and write what I feel? Can I show you my shadow? Can I share my dark side? The parts of me that embarrass me? Am I brave enough to do that? Am I as brave as Issa?